KB's Basic Blog

I awoke to a barrage of text message alerts.   Opening one bleary eye I flopped my arm over my head reaching for my phone and slowly drug it back toward my face.   The sinking feeling in my stomach wasn’t from the drinks I had last night.   I shot straight out of bed and bounded toward the window, hoping against all hope that the photos that now graced my phone were a mass conspiracy. They were not. My morning encrusted eyes were treated to the sight of my sweet, loving husband dressed in nothing but a yellowed tank top, his knickers, and a beer helmet.   He was pushing an ancient mower and waving to the neighbors with a carelessness reserved only for the very young and the very old.   Since he was neither, I wrapped myself in my bathrobe and threw myself out the door in attempts to save him…well me, from further gossip and photos. “Honey,” I yelled over the metal-on-metal sound of the mower, “what the fuck are you doing?” He just grinned and gestured to his ears and then the

                                               The leather straps of Jason’s backpack dug deep red fissures into his shoulders as sweat stung his eyes and mosquitos buzzed around his head.   The heavy humidity of the forest made him feel like he was swimming instead of walking, but without the benefit of weightlessness. His arms stung every time a plant brushed against them from the sunburn he got two days ago when he still thought this vacation was a good idea.   In the middle of a rainforest, they brushed against him often.                 Further up the trail he watched his wife, Katie, laugh cheerfully with the insufferable couple from Australia.   She caught him looking and waved her fingers at him, grinning at some inside joke with her and her new best friends.   Not wanting to entertain thoughts of murder, Jason turned his attention back to the mud and bug-infested trail in front of him just in time to trip over a root and faceplant into black boot churned earth.

“God dammit,” I heard Jay’s voice erupt. A human tornado had tossed our clothes about the room. “What’s the matter, babe,” I asked collecting our belongings. “I can’t find my damned cell phone.” “We are on vacation,” I said holding the lingerie I bought for the occasion.