The Yellow Book

There was only one set of headlights traveling down the highway toward the remains of San Francisco on the morning that marked ten years since the end of the world.  To celebrate this day of memorial all three radio stations left in California decided the appropriate course of action was to unironically play R.E.M’s “It’s the End of the World” on repeat, for 24 hours.   Sasha was into it for the first few hours, but after singing her heart out about the fall of New York City, the flooding of New Orleans, the bombing of DC and the rise of Alaska she was starting to feel a bit depressed.  As Sasha dug through the hundreds of loose CD’s in her front seat for something a little more upbeat she heard the tell-tale “thump-thump” of running over something.  Moments later the cloying smell of skunk filled her car.

Half choking Sasha unrolled her window and desperately grabbed for  “The Yellow Book: Guide to Safe Travels in a New World” that resided in her visor.   Head half out the window she saw that the next safe pull out was only two miles away.  It was marked as “Gas Station-semi-normal amenities”.  Sasha half-prayed those included an air freshener.

Sasha pulled her electric Volkswagen van into the gas station.  The sign proclaimed, “Welcome to the Magical Town of Wistwick”.

She stumbled into the well-lit store, eyes watering.  The acne ridden face of the station attendant looked at her in a concerned manner.

“Air freshener,” she coughed.

“Aisle 4.”

The only air freshener available was a bright green liquid that you attached to the A/C called “Fairy Dust”.  It smelled like the Red Wood forest before it sunk into the sea.

Sasha was finally able to breathe properly again when she put the air freshener on the counter.  The young attendant raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

“I ran over a skunk.”

“I see.  Well that will be a cleaning of the station's bathrooms or an evening at Granny’s B&B.”

It was Sasha’s turn to raise an eyebrow of concern.

“I would go with Granny’s, personally.  I don’t think the bathrooms have been cleaned since…well, you know.”

“Is it safe?”

“Nothing in Wistwick will kill you, ma’am.  The residents just don’t get out much.  I will go ahead and call ahead so Granny will be expecting you.  It’s a half mile down the road, take a right at the water tower, you won’t miss it.”

“I guess I have had stranger exchanges, and my car does smell awful, an evening to air it out isn’t the worst.”

Back in her van, Sasha looked at the Yellow Book again.  Wistwick Village was marked as “Nothing here will kill you”.  In this world that was the best you could hope for.  She drove down the lane toward Granny's, impressed that this little town still had enough electricity left to light up some streetlights.  Even more impressive was all the green yards she drove past.  Green was a rarity these days. 

Granny’s B&B was easy enough to find.  Sasha slowly pulled into the driveway.  As she stepped out of the van an older woman walked out of the front door.  Her white hair was piled on top of her head in a way that made Sasha want to tell her all of her secrets.

“Hello, darling!  Welcome to our village, we hope you stay a while,” Granny’s cheerful voice called from the porch.  As she approached Sasha could just make out the glimmer of what looked like dragonfly wings protruding from Granny’s back.

“We got one of the weird bombs,” Granny said as a way of explanation, “Come in, come in.  I’m sure you have a lot of news from the outside.”

“I suppose I do,” said Sasha thinking about the four-headed elk she saw back in Colorado.

When Sasha was properly settled in her cozy room she went downstairs to where Granny had a cup of tea waiting for her.  They spent the evening chatting about the things Sasha had seen as Granny jaunted down the occasional note.  

As dawn arrived Sasha attempted to rise from her chair only to stumble on feet that had transformed into claws overnight.

“But I thought it was marked as safe,” protested Sasha.

“No dear, it says nothing here will kill you.  It doesn’t promise you can leave.  We are a magical village after all.”